You decide who can reach you
Nobody can message you out of the blue. Contact starts only when both of you agree to it, and you can end it at any time.
Our standards
Dating should feel respectful and safe.
The things that make dating apps exhausting (unwanted messages, pressure, fake profiles, being left on read) are design problems. Here is how Vera is built to prevent them, and what happens when someone crosses the line.
Honest about the stage. Vera is in an early-access alpha. Each protection below is marked Live today or Being designed, so you know exactly what is in place now and what is coming.
The short version
Three promises.
Bad behavior has consequences
Real people read reports. Content can be hidden and accounts suspended, and the person always has a way to ask for a second look.
Going quiet is not a free pass
We are designing a kind, easy way to say “not a fit,” and gentle steps for people who keep leaving others waiting.
Common problems, and what we do
What goes wrong on dating apps, and how Vera is built differently.
For each problem you may have met elsewhere, this is what Vera does about it.
Unwanted messages from strangers
Contact only when both agree
Private letters are possible only between people who have both accepted a connection. Strangers cannot write to you.
Harassment that follows you around
One-tap block that works everywhere
Blocking ends every connection with that person on both Vera and Vita and hides you from each other. You can also report a profile, a letter or a photo to our reviewers.
Pressure to move to another app
Contact details stay private until you both commit
Phone numbers and email addresses are shared only at the Partner stage, which both people must choose. Asking for them earlier breaks our conduct rules.
Fake and duplicate accounts
Invitation only, adults only
Members join by invitation, must be 18 or older, and a college email address can belong to only one account. Optional identity and professional checks are being designed, always by your choice.
Being too easy to find or track
You control what is public
Public pages use a nickname by default, not your real name. Location, camera and time details are removed from photos you upload. You can turn any public link off whenever you like.
Collecting people
A limit on how many you can be committed to
At the Partner stage a member can have at most three active partners, so the closest connections stay real and not a long list.
Ghosting and being left on read
Replies are expected, and a kind way out is easy
When introductions begin, you will have a one-tap, polite way to say “thank you, not a fit.” Repeatedly going quiet will have gentle, escalating steps (below).
Pay to be seen, public rankings and scores
The same rules for everyone
No paid boosts, no paying to be shown first, and no “compatibility percentage” on a person. Nobody can buy a better spot.
When someone breaks the rules
What happens after you report.
- You reportFrom a profile, a letter or a photo. It takes a moment and goes to a real person.
- A reviewer looksWe may hide the content or the profile while we look into it.
- We decideRemove a photo, hide a profile or post, or suspend the account. Serious or repeated breaches mean suspension.
- Everyone can ask againA suspended member sees why and can appeal. We tell members what we removed and why, unless a safety or legal reason means we cannot.
We remove content that breaks the rules: harassment and threats, anything sexual involving someone under 18, sharing another person’s private information, pretending to be someone else, spam and scams, content you have no right to share, and anything illegal.
Being left waiting
How we plan to treat ghosting.
Silence is sometimes life, and sometimes a habit. The plan is to be gentle first, and to ask a real person before anything serious. Being designed
- A friendly reminder
- Fewer introductions for a while
- A short break from introductions
- A longer break while a person looks at the facts
- A person decides whether to remove someone from introductions
Never penalised: saying “not a fit” kindly, taking a planned break, or stepping away because something felt unsafe.
Not counted: a conversation that fades after you have both really talked. That is part of getting to know someone.
Your account stays yours: a step affects introductions only. Your profile, writing and portfolio are not touched.
What we ask of everyone
A few simple expectations.
- Be yourself. Use your own photos and tell the truth about what you are looking for.
- Be kind. Respect a “no” the first time, without arguing or pressure.
- Answer, or close kindly. A short, polite “not a fit” is always welcome.
- Keep private things private. Do not ask for phone numbers, photos or money, and never share someone else’s information.
- Take it at a human pace. Get to know someone before asking for more.
Honest limits
No system is perfect.
If something feels wrong, tell us. Report it from the profile or letter, or block the person. You do not have to prove anything.
If you are ever in danger, contact emergency services first. Vera is not an emergency service.
We are small and still learning. We will keep improving these standards and say so plainly when they change. Identity and professional verification are not active yet, so treat every profile as unverified and take sensible care when you meet someone in person.
Ready when you are
Ask for a place in early access.
College students only for now, because our resources are limited. Students at US colleges and universities are invited right away; every other request is pending approval, and we will email an invitation to your .edu address as places open. Nothing else is sent to your address.